


empty glass

by letfelicitysoar



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 12:31:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2110044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letfelicitysoar/pseuds/letfelicitysoar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sehun watches as zitao waits.</p><p>lapslock all the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	empty glass

He’s indifferent, Sehun thinks to himself as he sees his best friend shoveling a spoon full of fried rice into his mouth. Tiny glass like fibers shake the numb feeling out of Sehun’s brain and he’s thrown back into reality when Zitao’s pen pokes his right temple. They were at Sehun’s house, doing homework and eating an early dinner, however a majority of Sehun’s time was spent watching Zitao instead.

"You’re going to fail that math test," Zitao tells him, his dark hair falling over his eyes as he looks back down at his homework, going over simple equations that Sehun has already long ago memorized.

Luhan interrupts them five times that night, asking if they need anything and Sehun has to keep telling him that they’re fine even though there’s a burning sensation in his throat and he feels like every single syllable he speaks is coughed out. It’s how he always feels whenever he’s around Zitao.

-

"I think I’m in love," Zitao announces when they’re walking home from school and going over to Sehun’s house; what they always do after school.

"Are you really?" Sehun asks, his face is blank but his tone shows hints of pure curiosity and Zitao’s always been good at picking those up.

"I am," he states then Sehun nervously swallows.

"With whom?"

"Yifan."

And oh, Sehun expected this. He really did. He remembers when Luhan had introduced his old high school friend; a tall blond male (taller than Sehun) who was handsome and charming and he remembers the look on Zitao’s face too. Completely heart struck.

That night, Sehun cries for the first time in seven years and Luhan isn’t home to tell him things will be alright.

-

Zitao and Yifan begin to date and they’re a happy, perfect couple and Sehun’s chest starts to feel heavier than ever. He can’t and doesn’t hate Yifan, not when he makes Zitao smile and gives him all the things Sehun could only ever dream of giving him.

Luhan tells Sehun that Yifan has a girlfriend back in Canada. Sehun knows Zitao knows.

-

"How can you stand it?" Sehun finds himself ironically asking.

"Stand what?" Zitao questions, sending a text to Yifan as the two teens lay side by side on Sehun’s bed, long legs dangling off the edge.

"Stand being with someone who has another person," Sehun’s tone is as monotonous as ever but Zitao can feel the depth of his words.

"I don’t know. When you love someone, you just want to be able to love them, even if their love isn’t solely for you. I guess that’s how I can stand it…" Zitao seems to be frozen in thought as he sets his phone down and turns his head to look at Sehun, "I don’t want to regret not being able to spend what little time I have with the person I love dearest."

After that, Zitao grows silent and stares at the ceiling, but Sehun’s gaze remains on the dark haired boy with the sharp eyes that don’t seem to carry the least bit edginess that they’re known for.

Zitao is childish in Sehun’s eyes. Naive and a coward, precious and treasurable too. Sehun sees how weak and fragile Zitao is, though he hides it well with a strong front and Sehun envies him for that because sometimes he feels so paper thin and light.

Sehun wants to be the person Zitao loves dearest.

-

When Yifan leaves for Canada, Zitao doesn’t even see him off.

Sehun spends the whole day wondering if his best friend will drop by, at a quarter past three, he hears a knock on the front door.

Luhan and Minseok are out on a date and Jongin goes to the theatre every weekend so he knows who’s at the front door when he opens it.

Sehun only has so many friends.

-

The snow is thick and cold to touch and the two boys walk down the street, shoes crunching on the ground and cheeks red from the frost. Zitao stands unbearably close to Sehun to keep warm but the other’s cheeks only seem to flare up more and he’s thankful it’s dark and that Zitao doesn’t once look down to see his blushing face.

Sehun likes the comfortable silence between them like this.

They walk to Sehun’s house from Zitao’s father’s funeral, Zitao wraps his arms around Sehun’s.

-

Graduation is quick and a blur, but Sehun remembers seeing Zitao, standing beside him and smiling.

Luhan and Minseok congratulate them with flowers and then suddenly there’s a stabbing pain in Sehun’s chest as he sinks down from his high because there on the side is Yifan with open arms for Zitao.

An open set in which Zitao runs excitedly towards.

-

Five years, five years is what it takes for Sehun to forget many things. The soft pale lips which curve into a cat like smile, the black raven hair which was always soft to the touch, the dark eyes that hid so much but exposed so many different emotions; Sehun forgets them all and lives out in the city where everything is stone cold and based on how many ticks pass by on the clock.

He passes by a large open area fountain and thinks about the time he was a child and played in similar ones back home, with Luhan and Jongin and… Someone he has hoped to have completely forgotten.

-

"I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve brought in a new assistant for you," Joonmyun tells him, only a fraction of his body is exposed as he stands halfway through the open door.

"It’s fine," Sehun mumbles, eyes still glued to his computer screen while his focus is on what kind of dinner should he have tonight.

In the last three months, he’s gone through eight different assistants, all of which have not lasted very long.

"Hello, sir," a soft voice with accented Korean speaks out and even if Sehun’s forgotten it so long ago, it only takes one small moment to let it all come crashing back in.

The cat like smile, the soft hair, the dark eyes; everything is suddenly vividly clear again as he looks up from his computer screen.  

-

It was a mistake, he thinks the next morning when his head is pounding from the aftereffects of too many drinks and there’s a warm body next to his.

The room feels small and cheap and the cotton sheets which pool around their waists feels light and dirty and suddenly thin long fingers find their way to his hand and Sehun looks down at Zitao who’s still laying in bed.

His eyes are half open and glassy with sleep, but he interlaces his fingers with Sehun’s so easily; as if he’s done it a million times before and it’s a natural habit.

"You’ve accomplished more in these last few months than you have in these last twelve years," the joke is bitter from Zitao’s lips but the smile that dawns on Sehun’s face is genuine.

"I should have spent my time with the person I love dearest more wisely, I guess," Sehun concludes before he stops regretting last night and Zitao smiles and brings him down for a kiss.


End file.
